When I was a kid…

“When I was a kid,

I used to think pancakes meant something we eat.

And color paints were only meant to jazz up paintings

Whiteners were used to cover errors in a document

And injections were given when your doctor thought you were going to die…

But I kept feeling the same

Till one day,

my aunt told me I need to look like a girl.

Not because I was tom boy or anything

But because I was a girl who didn’t think twice before climbing up a tree to see the sparrow’s nest closely or playing for hours under the sun or bruising herself

Just because that’s what made me feel, ME

 

Deep in my heart I kept feeling the same

Till another day when teachers at school called me the most handsome looking boy to do the act

While the other girls looked pretty in their pancakes and lipcolors

I sported a moustache, still feeling proud

 

Till that day,

When I was made to be a girl

Dress in pinks and purples, silvers and golds

Grow my hair and feel pretty

put paints and jewelry

 

Till this day,

When i figured pancakes are not just  a thing I love to eat

And color paints  jazz up the nails

Whiteners give fair skin,

and injections are the best beauty enhancers

 

Till one day,

when I started looking like a girl,

And looking pretty was becoming a way of life

something i loved,

Or maybe…what people loved

Or what they call pretty

 

Till one day,

When I looked into the mirror

A lot closer, a lot longer, changing mirrors and changing lenses

I look pretty, the stereotypical pretty

But I couldn’t find me.

Till one day,

I decided to do what made me the happiest,

Travel the world and spread some brightness,

Get tanned on the beach beds and savor every stride

Trek my love for the mountains and live a life, fulfilling and bright.

Till this day,

When the travel bug has bitten me twice

Travelling the world is the only hopeful symptom in life,

Reading its book one journey at a time,

Finding new things while finding myself

Being the girl I always wanted to be”

– @alishananda

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